My name is David Miller. I am 59 years old.
Four years ago, my annual blood panel came back with triglycerides at 285. Bright red on the portal.
My doctor looked at me over his glasses and said: "David, your blood fats are in the danger zone. Clean up your diet, take some fish oil, and let us retest in 90 days. If it is still high, we are starting Lipitor."
I was terrified of statin muscle pain. My older brother took Lipitor and could barely walk up the stairs without his calves cramping.
So I went all in. I cut out bread, stopped drinking beer, walked three miles every morning, and bought the biggest yellow bottle of fish oil on the shelf.
Ninety days later: triglycerides were 274. They barely moved.
I tried another brand. Then an expensive "Triple Strength" bottle from Whole Foods. Then a high-end krill oil brand from television.
Four years. Hundreds of dollars. Giant horse pills every morning. Still stuck in the danger zone: 260, 275, 290.
And every single afternoon by 2 PM, that sour, disgusting fish burp rolled in like clockwork.
Then last summer, at my nephew's graduation dinner, I sat next to Dr. Henrik Lindqvist, a cardiovascular lipid specialist who practiced in Oslo for seventeen years before moving to Baltimore.
I happened to mention: "I swallow four fish oil pills every morning, and my triglycerides do not move. I guess my body is just broken."
Dr. Lindqvist shook his head. "Your body is not broken, David. You have been swallowing synthetic alcohol bonds and rancid filler fat. Show me what you are taking."